I’m back!

I must be honest with myself! The new year started and I was off and running. Then life took over and I quit, like I do with so many things! BUT saying that I really want this blogging thing to work, so needless to say I’m back! (Not in the Arnie sense, but in the sense that I haven’t forgotten all the promises I made to myself back in January. What has happened in those two months that I went awol? Not much, and so much… I can’t believe a whole school term has nearly gone by! I’ll start with the not so happy things so when I finish this, I will feel a bit better about missing two months of blogging…

Summer is not MS friendly. I have pretty much been a tired hermit hiding inside under my air-con, and the fatigue has been terrible! It’s not just tired, it’s waking up tired, forcing yourself to shower in the morning every day kinda tired… I have had enough of this heat, and it only seems to be abating now. Nearly a whole month into Autumn (or Fall depending where you are from). I haven’t exercised, I have just pretty much spent the last 2 months inside, not doing much at all. Not helpful for losing weight. At least my nails looked great! πŸ˜‰ Sad news, my veggie patch has died, the fruit fly took over with the tomatoes, so I left the rest to them. To be honest we’d rather use the valuable water on the fruit trees. They seem to be doing okay at the moment, so little wonder. Monday’s have been my saviour, with the little guy going to family day care. I don’t think I would have made it this far into the year without it! I’m looking forward to more temperate weather and Autumn/Spring are my favourite times of the year.

I may have mentioned earlier, if I haven’t forgive me, but my husband is a truck driver. He owns a prime mover and trailers that move either grains, fertilizer or hay for local farmers. The last harvest went for over 3 months for him! I hardly see him and I miss him. It didn’t finish until end of January, so we were both hanging out for a family holiday! He is now doing grapes for local growers and the stress is not doing both of us any good. We have decided he won’t do it next year because he has been sitting at home waiting for a call to say go, and because he owns his truck he isn’t earning anything. It is soooo frustrating! Another holiday will be needed after this! I have been losing sleep worrying over it and worried that it will go over the time I need him to take my to see the neurologist for my regular visit. I had an MRI at the new hospital a few weeks ago, and even though I hate having them done, and hate waiting for results, I look forward to a night away. The specialist is 2 1/2 hours away and my appointment is at 10am. It’s a bit early to get a toddler ready in the morning…

I have spent the last month prepping for volunteering for the local library agency as well. They have air conditioners, so I thought it won’t be so bad. Yesterday was my first day, and we worked 2-up until we get used to being on our own there. It’s a beautiful old original building in town that used to be the library (see photo below), so it’s fate that the library agency has returned books toΒ  it’s heart. It was only for 3 hours, and it was extremely quiet. The weather was windy, hot and humid, so I understand why we were quiet. Plus the locals may not all know we are there yet. I enjoyed my first day volunteering, I was working with a retired nun who is so community minded and a lovely lady so the time went very quickly indeed! I even borrowed a book, Blogging for Dummies. I thought I might need it and it has given me the swift kick up the bum I needed to get back into it.

So that is pretty much my last few months, my sister got married, which was a very casual affair as she has 3 kids – 2 in high school. I’m looking forward to starting this again, and talking about things that are near and dear to my heart. I have been working my home business doing nail wraps, and I have since joined a company called SeneGence which make this amazing lip stick/gloss that doesn’t come off for about 18 hours!! I will be doing a few articles on these in the future, and providing tips and suggestions for using these products. I promise I won’t inundate this blog with posts of nails and lipstick πŸ˜‰ I will try to keep to my original plan and post every Monday sometime when my son is in care πŸ˜‰

Finishing this with a few images, one is of the library where I’m volunteering some time, the next is of my son with his beloved chickens (the chook was okay), then of the great powder explosion of 2017, then my motivation for returning to writing.

 

Seize the day!

I want to start this by talking a little about guilt. We all experience it at sometime or another. Mum’s feel guilt all the time. Today for instance. I felt guilt when I dropped my 2 1/2 year old son off at family day care this morning. He likes going, don’t get me wrong, but he flips the guilt switch on me even before we go, and once we arrive he clings onto me like a baby Koala. I leave feeling guilty. On top of my mum guilt, today is my 42nd birthday. I feel guilty because I should be spending it with my son and hubby. Instead I’m enjoying me time, but feeling guilty for doing so! To be 100% honest with you, I had a funeral to attend today, but couldn’t make it due to the extreme heat outside (40 degrees Celsius). Guilt about not being able to attend. Argh! It never ends. Is all this guilt normal? I don’t know, but what I do know is that it’s normal for me.

Turning 42 and the prospect of having a funeral to go to today makes one contemplate life. The lady that passed had MS too. She was only 52. 10 years older than I am… She was not the usual case of MS, she was pretty severe and for as long as I knew her (5 years) she had been in a wheelchair. Her husband cared for her and the last two years of her life was a living hell by the sounds of it. I hadn’t seen her in the last two years, so when I heard about her death I was in shock. She had been quite frail when I knew her, and I met her through a friend who has MS too. I met with her MS friends early on when I was diagnosed, we’d meet for lunch and they’d catch up with each other and I usually sat and listened. I enjoyed being a part of this little group though. It was lovely to hear about the plans they all had for the future and things they had done in the past. We’d chat about progressions in MS research we’d heard and shared diet tips. I was in my MS diet full swing by the time we last met… I feel bad that I couldn’t make it to her funeral.

Getting back to the contemplation part, I have decided to make the most of life. To not wait for opportunities to arrive, to not keep something for a special occasion, to never give up. My life’s motto now will be Carpe Diem! Seize the day! (Thanks to my Year 11 Literature teacher for showing us Dead Poets Society).Β  I know a lot of people have this motto, I’m not going to be selfish, I will just make the most of my life and make it worth living. I’m currently doing my vision board and will have to add Seize the Day to it! I need to remain positive to have a positive outlook to life!

Today is day 1 of my new life! My current lifestyle as of today, is healthier, fitter, more aware, less angry, less guilty (I had to add that one in) and more of what I enjoy! For some reason being a mum doesn’t mean you have to give up everything you like doing! You need to find a way to do things the things you love – find the time, do it with your child, do it while they are playing, do it once they are asleep, just do it whenever, wherever you can!!